Desiderata
latin: things desired
also –
desire: the root of all suffering
The Cucumber and the Grape
Fundamentally, we desire the same thing: fairness.
Synopsis:
- Monkey A performs a task. Monkey A gets rewarded with cucumber.
- Monkey B performs the exact same task. Monkey B gets rewarded with grape instead.
- Monkey A sees Monkey B’s grape reward. Monkey A gets upset.
Rinse and repeat. With dogs, birds, chimpanzees and humans.
The Grape is now Geopolitical
- The US is “allowed” to have nuclear weapons, supposedly because it “manufactured and exploded a nuclear weapon or other nuclear explosive device prior to 1 January 1967”
Source: https://treaties.unoda.org/t/npt
But…
- “Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon”
Source: https://www.whitehouse.gov/videos/iran-cannot-have-a-nuclear-weapon-its-that-simple/
What I’ve just highlighted is a blatant, right-in-your-face example of a contradiction of our most basic human desire and intuition: that the same rules should apply to everyone.
I’m not here to argue the specifics… e.g. Monkey A performed the task with a 1.41421g of rock whereas Monkey B performed the task with a 1.41422g of rock instead.
I’m also not here to argue the ‘bigger picture’… e.g. If Iran has nuclear weapons then…
All I’m saying is that the contradiction blatantly exists.
And this contradiction has very naturally triggered a response.
The Gaslighted Generation
The age-standardised incidence rates of mental disorders among youths (10-24 years old) has skyrocketed globally.
Source: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-025-03623-w#MOESM1
Ignorance is bliss I guess?
Gen Z and Gen Alpha are the first generations to grow up with near-frictionless access to information via the internet.
Which also means they are growing up with free access to the contradictions.
The discrepancies are not hidden in dusty archives, classified cables, or academic journals anymore.
They are in headlines. They are on official websites. They are in press briefings.
They are searchable, shareable, and impossible to unsee.
They can see, in real time, that the rules are not applied evenly.
And that contracts and agreements are not honoured.
They can see the cucumber and the grape.
The gaslighting is not that the world is unfair.
We know the world is unfair.
The gaslighting is being told that unfairness is wisdom.
That contradiction is nuance.
That hypocrisy is strategy.
That our instinctive desire for fairness is childish, dangerous, or unrealistic.
And so a generation grows up surrounded by information, but starved of coherence.
They are told to trust institutions while watching institutions contradict themselves.
They are told to follow the rules while watching rules bend around power.
They are told to stay calm while being handed cucumbers and told not to notice the grapes.
Desire, Untethered
Dear myself, my peers, and the younger ones:
Our desires are not wrong.
The desire for fairness is not wrong.
The desire for truth is not wrong.
The desire for coherence is not wrong.
The desire for a world that does not insult our intelligence is not wrong.But desire, untethered, can also consume us.
If we stare too long at every contradiction, we will become bitter.
If we try to correct every hypocrisy, we will exhaust ourselves.
If we confuse awareness with obligation, we will drown.
A Reminder, Passed Down
About a month ago, I was reminded of the poem, Desiderata, by a Canadian gentleman in his 70s, despite — or maybe because of — his belief that “World War 3 is here.”
During World War II, psychiatrist Merrill Moore reportedly distributed more than 1,000 unattributed copies of the poem to his patients and soldiers.
Perhaps a timely reminder: the world changes, the noise changes, the fears change — but some truths, and some comforts, do not.
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
by Max Ehrmann ©1927