Hello, hello. The real ‘About’ page is here: https://www.awhitepen.com/about/
Hardware
- Manufactured in Singapore in the early 90s
- Purebred Chinese (Cantonese) pedigree
- Black hair
- Black eyes
- Occasionally enters โAsian lobsterโ mode when sunblock application slips off the to-do list
- Reduced ALDH2 enzymatic activity
- Currently 161cm, ~54kg
- Exterior serviced with approved imported components from Khiel’s (USA), SKII (Japan), Laneige (Korea), and other possibly moderately overpriced suppliers
- Internal parts supported by a daily maintenance stack of vitamins and supplements including but not limited to NMN, spermidine, creatine, etc.
- Slightly uneven teeth / small buck situation
- Corrective calibration currently in progress: see my Invisalign journey
Software
- Native English (Singapore accent) and Hokkien
- Singlish and Hokkien vulgarities plugin may activate when provoked
- Language pack installed at age 8: spoken Mandarin and written Chinese
- Software patch at age 15: fluent Cantonese (Western accent)
- First (bootleg) web pack installation at age 16: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and FTP Webmaster & Chief Admin of Spatchy
- Official installation at age 17: Relational databases, Microsoft Access, SQL, Classic Visual Basic
- Python installed in 2018
- Bundled extras include:
- “tau gey“ reading ability
- Limited but serviceable potential on piano (ABRSM Grade 7 ๐ฉ), guitar, drum set, and some brass instruments
- Kindly note that most dance modules fail on installation
- Tennis, padel, and pickleball versions remain unstable. Hand-eye coordination patch still pending.
Currently undergoing software upgrade in the following areas:
- Spoken Thai
- LLM communication protocols, a.k.a. talking to other robots
Compliance & Security Certifications
- 2025: Master of Technology in Business Analytics, National University of Singapore
- 2021: Graduate Diploma in Systems Analysis, National University of Singapore
- 2017: WSQ Diploma in Film & TV Production, Singapore Media Academy
- 2015: Bachelor of Science (Health Studies), Curtin University
- Class 3 Driving License – Republic of Singapore
- Level 1 Sport Climbing and Abseiling – Singapore National Abseiling / Climbing Standards
- 2 Star Kayaking Award – Singapore Canoe Federation
- PADI Open Water Diver
Official Deployments
- Current Affairs Producer & Researcher @ CNA
- Android Developer @ Mediacorp
- Customer Insights Researcher @ Twitter
- User Research & Data Analytics @ Standard Chartered
- Analytics Engineer @ HeyMax